Mama

I know that it is too early for Mother’s Day, but I’ve had my mom on my mind a lot lately. It’s probably because Dan had a birthday last week and is fast approaching mom’s age when she died. Also, since January we have had two new moms and babies in the family which has reminded me of the joy, privilege, and responsibility of motherhood.


My mom died when I was 33 after a three-year intense battle with breast cancer. Although I was thrilled because her battle was over and she was at home with the Father, I was devastated that I would no longer have her presence in my life. She was my best friend and the glue that held our family and extended family together. She provided wisdom and trustworthy advice for me as I developed in my role as wife and mother. When she died I felt rudderless in a sea of uncharted waters. I wasn’t ready to be the “matriarch” of the family. Not that I didn’t have a loving husband or sister, but I wanted my mom, because she had traveled this path before me, to help answer the questions:

• Who am I going to call to share the news that Amy made the dean’s list, Erin made drill team, Dan got a promotion, we got a new house, the girls got accepted at UT, or I got teacher of the year?
• How do you make it through the preteen and teenage years?
• How do you keep on going when a child breaks your heart?
• How do you teach the “facts of life?”
• How do you send your daughters off to college?
• How do you "be" the mother of the bride?
• How do you "be" a mother-in-law?
• How do you cope when you hear the word cancer? Or when you are told that you will never regain your hearing? Or that your nephew needs a kidney transplant? Or when someone calls to tell you that your daughter is dying?
• How do you "be" a grandmother? How is it that you can love someone more than your own children
• How do you adjust to an empty nest?
• How do you grow old gracefully and maintain your sense of humor, especially when you look in the mirror and see your grandmother (ha!)??

My mom may not have been there to mentor me through the ups and downs of being a wife and mother, but for 33 years she lived a life that pointed to the One who does have all the answers and He has sustained me in my journey with abundant grace.

The last week or so of mom’s life she was comatose. One day her eyes popped open and she said “Mama?” as she stared at the space at the end of the bed. I know that when I die, I too will be reunited with my mom in Heaven. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.


She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:26-30